Most of them showed incredulity and got embarrassed. There was an awful lot of giggling. One little boy started to cry. Personally, I sobbed my guts out for years at the very thought of sex. My theory may be spot-on or it may be nonsense, but I came to that conclusion after long observation and research.
7 Types of Parental Abuse
Shame and Silence: Recognizing Spiritual Abuse
As long as the sex addict is acting out, he or she can never see how their own emotional needs have gone and often continue to go unmet, as intense sexual acting out provides too many reasons for anger and hurt to be turned toward the self. In early recovery, however, sex addicts will often continue to express various forms of their control issues and self-hatred through perfectionism, judgment of self and others, and strong black-and-white views of healthy sexuality. While it is true that early recovery requires a clear and well-defined sexual plan and often may require a period of celibacy, I never cease to be amazed by the degree of judgment, sexual anorexia, and fear that can be generated by sex addicts who actually choose to engage in some form sex during the early part of their recovery. However, what often gets dragged into the sexual decision-making process is the perfectionism, shame, and self-hatred that drove the addictive behaviors in the first place. While the first few months of sexual recovery necessarily require somewhat rigid boundaries, beyond that it is essential to help addicts negotiate the line between healthy sexual recovery and a healthy, nurturing self.
Male Sexual Shame and Objectification of Women
Most people experience trauma at some point in their lives, sometimes at an age before the traumatic event can even be conceptualized. When trauma occurs later in life, it can leave painful feelings of loss, fear, and betrayal. Addressing past trauma is crucial to recovery from the trauma and abuse as well as drug and alcohol abuse. Unresolved effects of abuse and trauma can cause relapse after a patient has completed drug and alcohol abuse treatment.
Does a member's personality generally become stronger, happier, more confident as a result of contact with the group? In an abusive church, the use of guilt, fear, and intimidation to control members is likely to produce members who have a low self-image, who feel beaten down by legalism, who have been taught that asserting oneself is not spiritual. One of the first disturbing characteristics to be reported by relatives and friends of members of these churches is a noticeable change in personality, usually in a negative direction. Do members of the group seek to strengthen their family commitments?